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Decision Made
Oct. 25th, 2007 07:58 pmThanks SO much for the advice, guys, it was really helpful!!
After reading all the advice and sleeping on it last night, I had a long talk with my mom. I decided that there was one more really important aspect to all of this. If I told her about it, and she did everything in her power to convince me to stay in Japan, than she was probably in good enough shape without me. If, on the other hand, she didn't argue, or at least didn't argue much, then it would be clear that she really needed me. At first, I thought the first thing would happen, but the more that I thought about it, the more I thought it would be the second. Sure enough, when I told her, she raised a token resistance ("you should do what you want for your life, Claire") but not much. She agreed with my (unspoken) assessment that she just can't keep this up for much longer.
So I've made up my mind. I won't be returning to Japan after the Christmas holiday. I'll fly back to Bloomington as planned (I'll be in Bloomington from the 10th of December until the 17th, if I recall my plane tickets correctly) then fly to NYC as planned, but instead of heading back here on the 23rd, I'll stay at home, hunt for an apartment, all that jazz. I'm kind of excited about it, and kind of nervous, and kind of dreading how much apartments cost, and kind of dreading having to ship back all the manga I've bought, but over all I feel a lot calmer. I think this is the way to go.
After reading all the advice and sleeping on it last night, I had a long talk with my mom. I decided that there was one more really important aspect to all of this. If I told her about it, and she did everything in her power to convince me to stay in Japan, than she was probably in good enough shape without me. If, on the other hand, she didn't argue, or at least didn't argue much, then it would be clear that she really needed me. At first, I thought the first thing would happen, but the more that I thought about it, the more I thought it would be the second. Sure enough, when I told her, she raised a token resistance ("you should do what you want for your life, Claire") but not much. She agreed with my (unspoken) assessment that she just can't keep this up for much longer.
So I've made up my mind. I won't be returning to Japan after the Christmas holiday. I'll fly back to Bloomington as planned (I'll be in Bloomington from the 10th of December until the 17th, if I recall my plane tickets correctly) then fly to NYC as planned, but instead of heading back here on the 23rd, I'll stay at home, hunt for an apartment, all that jazz. I'm kind of excited about it, and kind of nervous, and kind of dreading how much apartments cost, and kind of dreading having to ship back all the manga I've bought, but over all I feel a lot calmer. I think this is the way to go.
