Disappointment vs. Elation

[unforth]

Well, I hit max levels of stress about 10 minutes ago when mom/boss told me that I needed to have the grant written by Monday. (Short explanation: my mother is in horrible amounts of pain due to problems in her back, and will be having surgery in a month. However, before she knew that would happen, she agreed to have the company write a grant that is due on April 7th. She isn't able to write it, though, which means that I get to "get my feet wet" with my first grant, but instead of it being a cake walk, it's a fricken 30 page monster worth $4 million over 3 years that, last year, was awarded to 5 out of over 100 applicants.) I thought I would have until the end of next week to write the approximately 22 pages that I was responsible for. But no, by the end of the weekend, says she, and I say, but I'm busy all day Sunday, and she says, then by Monday.

Then I come down to the Shepard Lab and check my e-mail.

I'm sad there won't be a game, but damn if it doesn't feel good to get a day back when I've got to write a 22 page grant on a topic that I don't know anything about (Early Childhood/Preschool education) by fucking Monday.

(Forgive my rant, but I'm a bit panicked, even with the day back, I've never written a paper that long - my record is 20 - I've never written a grant before, I've never had $4 million resting on my performance, etc., etc. I haven't been at the "I'm so stressed I'm nauseaus" point since the last week of my last semester of undergrad, a week when I wrote 3 papers and a total of 50 pages while trying to finish 7 applications to graduate school and work all of my just-before-Christmas hours at fricken Waldenbooks)

Comments

[xaniquen.livejournal.com]

Hm... this isn't one of those problems that you can solve by punching it in the face or setting it on fire (presuming of course that you want to stay on good terms with your mother, and you don't want to just burn the damn thing), so I've got nothing. Just keep a stiff upper lip, chap!

[unforth.livejournal.com]

If I get a critical success, setting it on fire might help...after all, if I burn, say, my computer, I won't be able to write the grant...so, after a fashion, setting it on fire would help. Punching it in the face really won't, though. ;)