One Week

[unforth]

(not the Barenaked Ladies song, either)

First, Party!
Okay, after consideration, I've decided what I want to do next Sunday evening.
Sunday, the 19th of August, 6:30 PM
I'm going to be at the Ram in Indianapolis at 6:30. At that time, I will request a table for 10. Then, I will wait for this table - probably at least an hour - and then will camp out at this table (after eating a delicious meal) with anyone who feels like wandering by. I intend to stay at the Ram until they make me leave, probably around midnight would be my guess. COME BY AT ANY TIME - wait in line with me, eat with me, whatever. If I get the indication more people than 10 will be there at any one time, I'll request a bigger table, which will surely mean a longer wait - not that I mind. Anyway, come up to Indy! Eat delicious, delicious food! Hang out with me before I leave! It'll be awesome! Feel free to indicate if you intend to come, but also feel free to just show up, I'm not picky. :)


Since even I'm a little lost about my life to come, here's my tentative schedule for the entire foreseeable future.
8/12 (today) - go see Stardust, watch X-Files, hang out.
8/13 - repack, chill with schenker28
8/14 - go to the IMA, meet up with Kreiner and eviltophat in Indy, then come on back to hang out with swan_tower and moonartemis76
8/15 - Marvel! Then, in the evening, meeting up with mistress_sin and her boy for dinner, and a lot of "squee omg I haven't seen you in six months."
8/16-8/19 - Gencon! Mostly to be spent hanging out with people. I'll be at the Sheraton (formerly the Radisson). I'm signed up for one game on Sunday, but otherwise have no particular plans other than the PARTY (above) on Sunday night.
8/20 - my flight leaves at 7:30 AM. Fly to Atlanta for my actual flight, which leaves at 10:05 AM.
8/21 - arrive at 1:25 PM (local time) in Narita. Go and get the keys to my apartment, move in, then either start sightseeing or collapse from exhaustion.
8/24 - meet up with claireon at noon in front of the statue of Saigo Takamori in Ueno park.
8/25-8/26 - hang out with claireon and be touristy.

10/1 - fly to Hong Kong
10/8 - fly to Singapore
10/15 - fly back to Japan

12/10 - fly to Bloomington
12/16 - fly to NYC
12/23 - fly back to Japan

People keep asking me how I'm feeling, and I've been saying the usual stuff, that I'm nervous, that I'm excited, etc. It seems easier to say this than to attempt to explain what I'm really feeling. I have a sort of emotional off switch that gets kicked when I start really freaking out about stuff. Right now, I'm not feeling much of anything. I've got this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that is certainly an indication of the nervousness I'm not exactly feeling, and I've got this desire to start reading my tourist guide, as the excited part of me that hasn't quite processed that this isn't just a vacation tries to think of all the fun things to do in Tokyo and Japan (and the other places I plan to go later in the year and next year). However, I'm not exactly feeling either of these emotions. More than anything, what I am feeling is a combination of utter surreality - as if someone else were about to move, not me - and a feeling of slowly growing sadness. I've known, intellectually, that I'd never live in Bloomington again for about 2 months, but it's only just starting to sink in what that really means in terms of seeing my friends now and in the future, in terms of changes to my life, in terms of my future. I remember having the same experience when I left Binghamton; then, it didn't sink in until I started my clothing and picture laden car and pulled out of the driveway at 70 1/2 Mill St., Binghamton, NY 13903, and realized that my friends were waving goodbye, that that wasn't my address anymore, that all of those people, the ones I loved, the ones I hated, the ones I'd fought with, all of those issues and pleasures, were a thing of the past now. I started to cry then. I haven't cried about this move yet (though I'm fairly close as I write this ;) ) but I know I will, probably early Monday morning as I sit by myself at the gate at the Indy airport.

But for now, I feel a little anticipation, a fair amount of stress, surprisingly little nervousness, a sort of resigned feeling, and a barely contained well of sadness.

I was going to wait to write this until it was closer to Gencon, but thinking on it now I'm not sure when I'll have the time, and since I'm already being all introspective, I might as well go ahead and write it.

When I moved to Bloomington, I didn't know what to expect. I'd only been here once before in my life, for less than a week. At that time, at the Game Preserve, some guy named ninja_turbo (okay, that wasn't actually his name ;) ) told deadmanwade and I that we oughta come to this Changeling LARP he knew about. As a tabletop gamer, though we pushed this ludicrous statement aside - LARPing was just too weird. Who would want to actually DRESS UP as their character? And LARPers were all freaks, after all. No, no way, never a million years would we go to the LARP. By the time we actually moved hear about three weeks later, June 1, 2005, we'd decided on a different tactic. Go to the LARP, it would be a way to meet people - ninja_turbo had told us as many as 60 people played - and then we could get a table top going with those interested, and leave the LARP. Because LARPing was weird and not something I wanted to do. But it wasn't what happened at all. Instead, I met a great group of people who, over time, I came to be friends with, many of them some of the closest friends I've had. I had a wonderful time playing the LARP I had laughed off, a wonderful time gaming in LARPs and table top games with the people I met. I went crazy making elaborate costumes, I dyed my hair for the first, and probably only, time for a LARP, I spent entire days from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep thinking and living and breathing the game I was playing. And it wasn't because the game was fun - not that the game wasn't fun - it was because of all of you, on my friends list and not, with whom I was playing. All of you who I spent time with when we weren't playing, screwing around, playing games, watching movies, or just talking about anything.

There are things for which thanks are unnecessary, and yet still feel like something that has to be said. I don't really know how to thank any of you for something as wonderful as 26 months of great memories and great times, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I've loved living here, I've loved the time I've spent with you all, and I'm going to miss living here, being with all of you, so much. I'll visit, of course, but visiting is never the same.

Anyone who wants to see Japan can come and crash at my place. When I get back, any one who wants to see Boston can come and crash at my place.

And now I'm going to stop, cause I don't want to spend any more of my morning crying.

Comments

[unforth.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to say, so I'll just say thanks. :) It'll be interesting to be an event, I guess. ;)