Hogwarts, Part 30; and Life!

[unforth]

It's been a long while since I've done a more general update, so I thought I'd go ahead and do so today.

Work has been pretty slow these last few weeks. There are a few reasons for that - one being the "calm before the storm" that I mentioned a few days ago (I had thought the calm would be ending today, but I appear to have one more day after all...) and some is because I've been lazy. Most has been because I've had about an hour or two's worth each day, but nothing big, which makes me feel like I'm doing nothing at all.

I've not been binding much at all, which doesn't really surprise me now. I think some part of my brain has just entirely decided that I'll be resuming that when I get back to the states and has left it at that.

What I have been doing a ton of is reading and playing Final Fantasy XII. In the month of October, I read through the end of the 9th book of Wheel of Time; I picked up the 10th book, read half the prologue, and realized I needed a break. I'd been a bit disappointed by the end of 9, I think that's part of it - I knew 9's "spoiler" ahead of time (I knew what Rand was trying to do) and I'd sort of built up this image in my head of how the ending scenes would go, and was disappointed when they weren't anything at all like my expectations. And a character I liked got whacked. Sigh. Still, I didn't decide to stop until I was reading 10 and I caught myself doing something I had not really done since starting this reread - something I used to do ALL THE TIME when reading WoT - I found myself flipping through the coming pages to see how long til Rand was back on camera. It was odd to do it now, too, because after this reread I'm prepared to acknowledge, for once, there are characters other than Rand and Min that I like (I've grown to like Perrin, and I no longer absolutely despise Faile, amazingly; Mat still rubs me the wrong way but the last couple books I've liked him better, too, now that he's not spending all his time whining about how this isn't what he wanted and he never asked for it and unlike the others he doesn't want to be a lord and all he wants to do is wine, women, and gambling, though song's okay too, and whine whine whine; I liked Nynaeve less than I remember liking her, but Elayne and Aviendha and Egwene I all liked better...it's been strange). Anyway, now I only know one other thing that I'd consider a spoiler; I've got predictions I'm certain are true for the future books, but I don't "know" those. :)

For a break, I picked up another book I'd bought here, Stephen Jay Gould's "Punctuated Equilibrium" (which, to my annoyance, I discovered was actually an excerpt from a different book). I've been wanting to start doing science reading again, and though I don't quite understand all of the more technical stuff, by and large it's been very interesting so far. :) I'm enjoying it a lot, and I'm already thinking about what other science reading I want to do (starting with the brick I bought just before leaving the states which is currently in a box at schenker28's - a copy of the complete works of Darwin.) It's SO NICE to have the time to read again. I think I've read more (for leisure) in the last month than in my entire time in grad school, at least in terms of a shear tabulation of pages. Manga doesn't count. ;)

Manga, meanwhile, has been slipping. I've just not felt like taking the time the last few weeks. It's not that I don't want to, even - it's that I do want to, but then the evening passes, and I haven't, and so I just don't. I need to get back on track, though. I don't want to lose all the progress I made. :)

FFXII has been a joy. I've clocked just under 100 hours since I got back (yikes that's a lot!) and I've still got loads to do. As far as I can tell, I'm one dungeon from the last dungeon, but I've still got some espers to gather, and I'm working on the rather annoying rare marks side quest slowly but surely; I'm also gathering Loot so that I can get all those rare bazaar weapons - that effort suffered a minor set back last night when I sold a bunch of stuff that I shouldn't have, but it's nothing I can't recoop, thank god, I didn't sell any of the rare/uniques. My party's almost level 60, and I recently found three things in a row which threatened to utterly kick my ass, so I think some leveling up is in order. Which is fine - if I want to take a stab at the Hell Wyrm, I need to level up more anyway. :) I think I'll go do that second to last dungeon first, though. Knowing me, I'll soon get bored and just go beat the game, though, without finishing the side stuff at least for now. That's what usually happens.

Another thing I've been being bad about is exercise. I think I burned myself out pushing so hard while I was away; now I get bored after a few miles. I think this is in part due to a lack of music; after threatening to utterly fail right before I left, my iPod ceased functioning completely the day I got back; nothing I've done has been able to revive it, and at this point I've given up and added a new one to my Christmas list. This is annoying, since this iPod was my big Christmas present only last year, but it can't be helped; I don't have the money to get one for myself, and I no longer know really know how to manage without one now that I'm used to it. My CD player, with it's batteries that die and the limited number of CDs I have here, just isn't adequate. Still, without music, I can't get it together to spend hours and hours walking.

To make up for that, I've been dieting much more strictly. Though my measures for success are entirely subjective - I've given up on using the tape measure because I don't think it shows anything of value on a day-to-day usage basis; my measures know are "how do I think I look?", "how far does my tummy stick out?", "how much farther do my boobs stick out than my stomach when I look at my profile? how much wider is my tummy than my arm in profile?", and "how far are my shoulder blades sticking out?" - I think I'm making some progress. And even if I'm wrong, I think it's doing my self-image some good to be using assessments predicated on deciding whether or not I look okay, especially since some days I decide that I do. ;) The stricter diet is, in some ways, a less strict diet. Before I was just approximating calories. Now, I'm counting them as closely as I can, and I'm not allowing snacks just because I do extra work - okay, that's not entirely true - but I'm also just keeping it simple. I'm allowed up to 1500 calories on any given day, so on days where I get really hungry I can eat a bit more, but on days when I hang out at home I don't get as hungry, and I end up eating much less (1100 - 1200); days when I exercise a lot I've noticed I usually end up at more like 1600. All in all, I think it's working okay, and because I've set myself a high but reasonable upper limit, I don't get upset with myself for going over, since I ONLY ever go over when I've been out and about for a large chunk of the day. :) When I get back to the states, though, I'll be joining a gym immediately - I'm looking forward to that - and if I haven't lost weight since I left (which I should have) and don't lose weight when I start working out, then I'm going to go see a nutritionalist and get some advice, because the way I eat and such I SHOULD be losing weight, and if I'm not it's time that I find out WHY. I want to be 140 lbs., dammit all. :)

Food in general has gotten to be enough of a non-issue that I think I'm going to stop reporting on it except in extreme cases (ie the Hundred Year Egg I tried in HK). It's not that I'll eat anything, because I won't, but I'm at the point where I only barely hesitate before trying something new, even if it's weird, and that I'll eat even the things I don't like that much. While I was on vacation, I consistently ate at least some of the veggie-type things that came with my meal; the other day I got Chirashi and I tried all the types of sashimi, even though I couldn't identify. More importantly, there were things I didn't like, but that wasn't a big deal. It used to be that if I tried something I didn't like, it would be much harder for me to make myself try something else new; now I just put aside the thing I didn't like and move on to the next thing. I've still got a long way to go, but I've gone from being "the world's pickiest eater" to being a much more normal level of picky eater. Given a bit more time, I doubt I'll even count as that. So I consider this battle fought and won, and I won't probably be talking about it more unless I do something I'm especially proud of. :)

I have discovered, meanwhile, the most pleasant way to spend an afternoon ever: Afternoon tea. While I was away, this became a key to my sanity. I love the scones, and I had Jasmine tea for the first and have discovered that it's wonderful. I predicted when I left home in August that while I was in Japan I would probably be drinking more tea - a prediction based on already existent trends. This really bore fruit while I was in HK, though. I think tea is the only thing that enabled me to survive the trip; between the doses of sanity in the afternoon, Earl Grey in the morning, and something to relax me in the evening, it was a steady diet of tea, and that's continued now that I'm back. It's the main thing I drink these days; it hels that it's warm and my room is not. ;) This is why I was so fixated on finding a pretty tea pot - I have a cute little cheap one that I bought, and I use it two or three times a day; I don't mind having another of anything I use that often.

I'm pleased, finally, with the extent to which writing has become an important part of my life. I was very worried before that I would not feel like writing any more after I finished the novel. I mean, the goal was "write a novel" not "become a writer" or "publish novels" or anything like that, so I was worried all the oomph would go away once I accomplished that goal. However, as is evidenced by my daily Hogwarts posts, I suspect, that has not been the case. Indeed, when I tried to poke my brain in to considering taking the day after I finished my novel off as a "yay!" thing, it didn't work. And I think I know why - like exercise over the summer, writing isn't a chore any more, nor is it something I do just because I like to. No, it's just part of my daily life now, like brushing my teeth or getting dressed. I hope I can get exercise back to that point, too. :) So I just keep writing, and I'm plowing my way through the Hogwarts game, and I have a list of other works in progress to finish, culminating in some long while from now in the start of another novel. Maybe before I get there, I'll actually edit this one. :) Mom asked to read it, and after an internal debate I did send it off to her, in all of it's tattered completeness - god it needs so much work!! - with extracted promises that she wouldn't hold it against me, or it, that it's a mess. I've been afraid to ask if she's actually reading it. :)

Moving has me a little paralyzed, I'll admit. I need to go and buy boxes and send off some of my vast number of books - and more, since I intend to ship as much as I possibly can, I'm not putting myself through the effort of lugging immense suitcases again, it was just too much of a nightmare - but I can't seem to get started. It's a strange dichotomy, because over all I think I'm actually rather excited to be coming back. I think that taking a more active hand in the company will be interesting, and I'm looking forward to meeting a bunch of people - Phil, for example, a client with whom I've been working with for 3 years with out ever actually meeting, and Ben M., who is an employee of the company, who I've collaborated on repeatedly, again without ever meeting face to face. I like that I'll be doing more - I'll feel like I'm earning my pay check - and I've been assured that if I can bring more money in, then I'll get a raise. I haven't needed a raise thus far, but once I live in NYC it'll be different, it's so expensive there, and there are so many things there I want to do. I'm especially glad that if I have to go some where that it's NYC. Some of that is for the reasons you'll expect - I love the city, it's my home "town," I know it well, I have a small but definite group of friends there, etc. However, I'm also pleased because of the range of services. In particular, there are some things I've gotten used to having here that I would SORELY miss in my life - some I won't be able to find, like mochicreams, but there is pretty much no place else in the US where I'll have such good access to manga and such, including one of the only Book Offs in the states. All in all, NYC is wonderful because it has so many choices. Early searching suggests that I can find a one bedroom in the upper range of my price limit (I can afford up to about 2000 a month in rent and still make ends meet and be able to have a few "luxuries" like a gym membership, cable TV, that sort of thing); with a raise, I could get something even nicer, though I probably won't bother - I'd rather have the extra disposable income as long as whatever apartment I find is acceptable. I'm looking forward to when I get back so I can start making appointments, looking for places seriously.

After a bit of consideration, though, I've decided that I AM going to spend the money to live on my own. Before I lived with saracariad, I predicted that after that I wouldn't want to have a roommate any more for a variety of reasons, and this is a prediction that has come true. I'm 25; I'm ready to live on my own. This has been especially emphasized by living on my own in Japan. It's just...nice. Of course, I won't quite be on my own - I have Jonie to keep me company. ;) I hope she'll like living in the city...

Anyway, this has gone longer than I expected, and I suspect I've forgotten something, but I can fill it in tomorrow or something when I post the next writing installment. I hope folks haven't been minding my random daily posts...I try not to clutter up LJ land... ;)
I'll be flying in to Indianapolis on a flight arriving at 7:15 PM on Monday, December 10th. After that, I'll be flying from Indy to NYC (Newark, ewww), leaving Indy at 11 AM on Monday, December 17th and arriving at Newark 1 PM. It's "only" a month away; I keep flip flopping between think it's REALLY FAR and that it's right around the corner. :)


Not the best starting place, but oh well.

Still… “You’re right, I haven’t heard a thing about this. What did we do?”

Nox looked me right in the eye for the first time since the conversation had started. After all, one only looks an equal – or at least one worth acknowledging – in the eye, and he thought we were all slugs beneath him. His gaze sent a chill through me; I had thought his eyes were cruel when I looked at them earlier, but now I realized that was the wrong word. His eyes were simply dead, as if he wasn’t human. “Wizard teams were sent to the front lines to act as assault teams against entrenched muggles. It’s really quite unheard of. Not only is it, as you are surely aware, completely illegal to interfere in such ways, but it is also unfair to the muggles involved, who surely have no chance of defending themselves. Also, I have seen evidence that strongly suggests that wizard assassins have been used.” I thought of the automata of Professor Tremens that had supposedly killed the Minister of Magic in England with a chill. That was what she had been charged with, why she was in prison. Of course, from the notes I had seen in her journal, it seemed likely to me that Nox himself had sent that automata assassin. Still, if he could do it, could we have done so as well. “Some of those attempts were successful, and some were not, but the evidence of the muggle eyewitnesses was irrefutable. If you are interested, perhaps we could discuss this at more length some other time, Ms…?”

“Prince,” I replied, not at all surprised he hadn’t caught my name when the teams were introduced earlier. “Delia Prince.”

“Ms. Prince,” and to my shock, he bowed slightly to me.

Candy launched in to another attack as soon as I didn’t take the floor again, but I wasn’t listening. What had I just started, I wondered uneasily. I could feel him watching me still, even with attention ostensibly on Candy. My heart fluttering, entirely from nerves, I excused myself from the conversation and took a seat on my own, feeling distinctly ill at ease. Soon enough, I was lost in my own thoughts. I didn’t want to believe him, and yet what he said sounded entirely too plausible when I let myself consider it. And, I realized, I’d probably never know the truth. If I found someone in the Ministry who would speak to me of such things, I knew they’d say the exact same thing: the other side started it, we’re simply doing what we must. Were wars always thus?

“Um, Delia?” I gave a start at having my morbid thoughts interrupted. Before me stood Wilifred, a very sweet Hufflepuff that I knew only vaguely from the exploits the evening we broke in to Professor Tremens’ office. “Are you alright? You look pale. I thought you might like a chocolate…” She held out a small, shell-shaped chocolate.

“Thank you,” I tried to smile, though my mind was still on Nox. I almost thought I could still feel him looking my way, though when I looked towards his group he seemed absorbed in the conversation, though as arrogant as he had been earlier. I popped the chocolate in my mouth. It was delicious, and a moment later a wave of warmth passed through me, and I felt…good.

I must have gasped in surprise, for Fred blushed slightly and then smiled. “Oh good, it worked. That’s a new type,” she explained, though it wasn’t enough of an explanation for me to understand what she meant.

“A new type?”

“Oh! I make chocolates,” she explained again, still inadequately to my mind. I simply looked confused, though, and she flushed more deeply. “Magical chocolates.”

“I’ve never heard of magical chocolates before,” I was impressed. “How do they work?”

“That would be telling,” she answered with a mischievous grin. “My family have been chocolatiers, and wizards, for generations, but I’m the first to try to mix the two. I want to make a business of it someday. The effects are usually pretty simple, and don’t last terribly long – those that have substantial effects, like the Levitating Lumps, only last about a minute, as long as the taste of the chocolate is in your mouth. The Refreshing chocolates like the one you just had are a permanent effect, but all they do is make you feel kind of good – in truth, I’m not sure if that was the magic working, or if it’s just a natural effect of chocolate, but it worked alright when I tried them.”

“It worked very well,” I replied, smiling. I really did feel better. “Is it like potion making?” It certainly sounded like it was. I’ll admit, I was intrigued.

“Kind of,” she nodded. “I know you’re good at potions, you’d probably be good at this too. Actually, if you can think of any way to prolong the effects, that would be helpful. I’ve been working on it for a long time but I haven’t had any luck so far.”

“I doubt I’ll think of anything where you haven’t, Fred,” I answered. “You’ve got far more expertise than I do. But I’ll think on it.”

Time passed more quickly with a pleasant conversation partner. As the party proceeded before us, Fred and I talked for a long while, though I didn’t really note how long. We spoke more on chocolates, and on our families. We joked about going in to business together, me selling potions and her chocolates, and more seriously I gave her what advice I could on selling in the school. She listened avidly, and I listened as attentively to what she was willing to share of her “brewing” techniques for her chocolates. Indeed, to this day I still use some of the methods that she shared with me that day and in later days of our friendship. Fred is truly a gifted brewer and witch; though I could wish that she’d used her talents for actual potions instead of chocolates!

Our conversation was winding down when she finally sighed. “I had so hoped to dance,” she said sadly, watching the couples twirling across the ballroom floor. “Reginald had to leave, though he wouldn’t say where.”

“I had been hoping to dance, as well,” I sighed, a mirror to hers. “But Ma…” I caught myself. “But my date, Robert, had to leave as well.”

To my surprise, Fred giggled. “It’s really Marcus, isn’t it?” she asked. I cursed my slip. “Oh, Katrina is going to be so angry when she finds out. She thinks he’s neatly in her pocket, but I’ve been watching and I’m not so sure. He…” she searched for the right word. “…dotes on her when she’s with him, but when she leaves he always seems so frustrated.” The glow these words gave me dwarfed that produced by the chocolate. I fought the urge to ask if he’d ever talked about me, reminding myself, again, firmly, that this was only for convenience. Only! “I’ve been watching her, too, and she’s been flirting a lot with Guillermo Patil, also. I think she’s going to get in to a lot of trouble one of these days.” She paused, a finger on her cheek, looking at me. I thought her eyes might be twinkling. “I also noticed that Marcus has been spending a lot of time with you. And when he leaves those meetings, he’s always smiling.”

I think I must have blushed to the root of hair. “Do you want to dance?” I asked in a rush. She blinked at me. “Since we don’t have our gentlemen to dance with us, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have a chance to do what we had so hoped for.” I stood, and took her hand, and bowed as formally as I could in a corset. My ribs felt as if they creaked, but I ignored it. At least my mask didn’t fall off. “Ms. Himmelblau,” I asked formally, making voice as deep as it would go, “may I have this dance?”

“Why, Ms. Prince,” she laughed, “I’m honored, and delighted!” Perfectly timed, a new song began, and she took my hand, and the two of us swept into the waltz, me leading, our skirts sweeping behind us, both laughing.

Comments

[unforth.livejournal.com]

We definitely need to have pup playdates. As to working out, I'd love a buddy, certainly, but I've noticed that in order for the buddy system to be helpful, the two people need to have really similar schedules, and that might be a problem. :)