Up and Atom
Nov. 19th, 2008 04:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unforthI'm back from a conference which ate the first three days of my week (and where internet was OMG expensive) feeling like brand-new. It's amazing what a few days of being reminded that there are at least a few hundred other people who give a shit, and a couple dozen doing what you are doing and giving a shit, can do for ones mindset. So while normally, I save the resolutions for the beginning of the new year, really, why wait? Here's some reminders:
1. I can do it.
2. I'm not isolated. (changed from "I'm not alone," because I already wasn't alone, and that wasn't the problem).
3. Giving up is not an option. Because I CAN do it. If I can, then there's no reason to give up!
4. Whatever I do, I should do my best.
5. If I have an idea and can't seem to make it work, I'm not trying hard enough.
6. Avoid the things that drag me down - the internet and TV, primarily.
7. If I set an alarm for 7:30, I get more done, go to bed at the same time, and wake up feeling the same, so why should I sleep til 8:30 or 9?
8. There are so many stinkin' hours in the day; I should use them better. If I did, I could accomplish so many of the thinks that I want to do.
9. It's okay to feel drained some time. Sit down, take a breather, take a few days...and then get back up again and force myself.
10. Yes, I have to force myself sometimes - but I need to try to remember how good I feel after I've done the thing that I had to force myself to do.
11. Return to item one.
I hope this feeling and energy last, cause I've had some ideas that I haven't been able to move on, and now I'm starting to feel that maybe, just maybe, I could make some of it happen.
Edit: Well, life seems to be working a bit faster than usual to try to beat out of me the cheerful optimism of this morning. (as personified by the above post) Less than an hour after posting, Jonie got violently ill and threw up 6 times in about an hour and a half, which prompted me to the doggy emergency room (she threw up again on the way, thank god we walked instead of taking a cab). Three hours later, I'm back with a diagnosis and a bottle of medicine...and $726 poorer than when I went. At a time when I desperately need every penny that I can get to move and pay for Christmas, I pretty much feel like...I'm not even sure how to end this sentence. At least they figured out what was wrong - I was terrified that I was going to pay all that money for no diagnosis at all, the matter would clear itself up, and I'd have paid for nothing at all. Instead, what she has is contagious - even to people - so I have to some how keep her from licking me, and keep her away from other dogs, which is basically impossible in NY. My budget for Christmas, which was already much smaller than it's been in recent years, has no been pretty well eviscerated, and other than my brother, my sister-in-law and my dad I fear that anyone I haven't already gotten something for is pretty much screwed - which shafts pretty much all of my friends. (I've already got at least SOMETHING for my mother, my step-mother, my uncle and my grandfather).
Incredibly, I'm still not as bad off emotionally as the above ranting might make me sound. I think I'm too busy being stunned by how quickly life can punch your fricken lights out to realize that I really should be very upset about this.
Back to step 1...
1. I can do it.
2. I'm not isolated. (changed from "I'm not alone," because I already wasn't alone, and that wasn't the problem).
3. Giving up is not an option. Because I CAN do it. If I can, then there's no reason to give up!
4. Whatever I do, I should do my best.
5. If I have an idea and can't seem to make it work, I'm not trying hard enough.
6. Avoid the things that drag me down - the internet and TV, primarily.
7. If I set an alarm for 7:30, I get more done, go to bed at the same time, and wake up feeling the same, so why should I sleep til 8:30 or 9?
8. There are so many stinkin' hours in the day; I should use them better. If I did, I could accomplish so many of the thinks that I want to do.
9. It's okay to feel drained some time. Sit down, take a breather, take a few days...and then get back up again and force myself.
10. Yes, I have to force myself sometimes - but I need to try to remember how good I feel after I've done the thing that I had to force myself to do.
11. Return to item one.
I hope this feeling and energy last, cause I've had some ideas that I haven't been able to move on, and now I'm starting to feel that maybe, just maybe, I could make some of it happen.
Edit: Well, life seems to be working a bit faster than usual to try to beat out of me the cheerful optimism of this morning. (as personified by the above post) Less than an hour after posting, Jonie got violently ill and threw up 6 times in about an hour and a half, which prompted me to the doggy emergency room (she threw up again on the way, thank god we walked instead of taking a cab). Three hours later, I'm back with a diagnosis and a bottle of medicine...and $726 poorer than when I went. At a time when I desperately need every penny that I can get to move and pay for Christmas, I pretty much feel like...I'm not even sure how to end this sentence. At least they figured out what was wrong - I was terrified that I was going to pay all that money for no diagnosis at all, the matter would clear itself up, and I'd have paid for nothing at all. Instead, what she has is contagious - even to people - so I have to some how keep her from licking me, and keep her away from other dogs, which is basically impossible in NY. My budget for Christmas, which was already much smaller than it's been in recent years, has no been pretty well eviscerated, and other than my brother, my sister-in-law and my dad I fear that anyone I haven't already gotten something for is pretty much screwed - which shafts pretty much all of my friends. (I've already got at least SOMETHING for my mother, my step-mother, my uncle and my grandfather).
Incredibly, I'm still not as bad off emotionally as the above ranting might make me sound. I think I'm too busy being stunned by how quickly life can punch your fricken lights out to realize that I really should be very upset about this.
Back to step 1...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-11-19 10:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-20 12:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-20 12:58 pm (UTC)Ignore it, I say. Turn your back on its temper tantrums and booby traps. Being stunned is your body's way of giving you chance to take stock and work out the best way to get back up.
Or something like that. In the meantime I hope Jonie is soon better and that you don't get the lurgi, too.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-24 04:12 pm (UTC)I second what you are saying about conferences. THey always just reinforce that you are doing something worthwhile. I used to do a lot of creative writing conferences and they really helped me. I think I need to take another one and get back to the ol' writing.