In the Midst of the Annoyance

[unforth]

Well, the last few days have really sucked and sapped my paltry efforts at a good mood, but my apartment is mostly ready for the exterminators tomorrow, and I can't finish anyway until I get a few more plastic crates (5 more on top of the 20 I've already filled oughta do it). I wrote a long whiny post about this, but I decided it was too whiny, so I'll just leave it with things have been tough but I'm almost done. That's not the point of this post.

Among today's other tasks, I've got an appointment to get my taxes done. For me, that means a lot of looking through statements and adding up my business expenses, since I'm technically self-employed, and if I didn't make deductions I'd be totally screwed (deductions for the self-employed are the only way, other than 401k and charity, to counterbalance that we have to cover our own entire social security burden, which costs 15% of my annual net income just off the top). This has a nice side effect, though. I get to see again everything that I've spent money on in the past year, and that always brings back memories. On statements I looked at are the last purchases I made in Japan (which made it onto a 2008 statement despite being in 2007 due to billing cycles), money spent on baseball games and music concerts, Gencon and Origins, trips to Bloomington and Chicago, my time in Amsterdam, Cologne and Prague (but not London, because my ATM card got eaten on my first day in Prague so I lived off borrowed money for the rest of the trip), the beautiful art I bought, trips to the Met, AMNH, NYBG, and other museums...I've been hard up for money most of the year (making ends meet and zeroing my balances, but only with difficulty) and that's made me often feel like I haven't gotten to do the things I've wanted to. And in some ways, that's true. I've had to sacrifice a lot of incidentals that I'd like to have - I've hardly bought any manga and only a few books, I've not bought a single video game, DVD or blueray all year, in short, a lot of the random little things that I used to get regularly I've had to cut completely. But you know what? It's okay. Because while I've mostly sacrificed things (with some noteable exceptions, in particular I spent a fortune on art at Gencon, and have joyfully looked at it on my walls ever since...) I've not had to sacrifice experiences, and I've had some wonderful experiences in the past year. Realizing this is surprisingly moving, I'm sitting here, typing about it, and the good memories are so overwhelming that it brings tears to my eyes.

I'm having a couple of rough months right now, but I hope that next March/April, when I sit down to do this again, I'll be able to look back on this year and feel the same way. And somehow, even though things suck right now, I really think that this year has the chance to be even better. I really needed a reason to look on the bright side; I'm glad I found it.

Comments

[galiyah.livejournal.com]

Good for you! You're definitely on the right track trying to focus on the positive.Just about anybody can buy a DVD or a book once in a while. Most people don't get to travel much. I'm glad to hear that you're almost done with the preparations. I know you'll be even happier once the bugs are gone. Hang in there! ;)

[unforth.livejournal.com]

I'm really just lucky with the travel - I'm single so nothing but the dog ties me to home, and my mom travels a lot and needs the companion, so she pays for me (for the most part) on most of the trips. Now that I've done my taxes, I've got concrete proof that my effective income was considerably less in 2008 than it was in 2007, and probably less than it was the year before, too, which explains why I've felt so hard up despite all the pleasant experiences. There are some pretty solid reasons for this ($500 per month for my student loans, astronomically high rent, for two...) Once I get caught up this year should be okay - but the bugs won't be gone for a while yet, there are two treatments, the first tomorrow, the second in three weeks. In the interim, I can't really unpack, and I can't live like this, so I'm going walkabout. We'll see how that goes... ;)

Thanks for the support...

[galiyah.livejournal.com]

You too eh? We made several thousand dollars less than in 2007 too. I guess Mike didn't get as much overtime. Sorry about the student loans and high rent. I know that's a huge chunk of money. I do remember the bugs taking 2 treatments. Hopefully you'll be so busy travelling that you don't think about it much. :)

[bakanekotoo.livejournal.com]

Aww, I'm sorry things haven't been going so well lately. Hopefully things will turn around for you soon :-\ I'm glad you're still able to focus on the good things despite all this :-) I need to follow your example :-P

[unforth.livejournal.com]

You'll be out of the worst soon, too, right? April 14th...