A Post I Don't Really Have Time For

[unforth]

This is another gratuitious "something of interest" post...this is a letter I've always thought was really beautiful; I haven't actually read it in years, but it's been on my mind since I wrote letters on Saturday in case of my Changeling demise...I seem to be making a lot of gratuitous Changeling related posts the last few days, lol. ;)


The following was written by Major Sullivan Ballou of the 2nd Rhode Island one week before the battle of Bull Run, the first significantly sized battle of the American Civil War.

July 14, 1861
Camp Clark, Washington

My very dear Sarah,

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more....
I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this government, and to pay that debt...
Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break: and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.
The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness...
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights ...always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again...

Sullivan Ballou was killed at the battle of Bull Run.

This letter always make me cry...

Sorry if there are typos, I just typed it up real fast.


Okay, enough of the gratuitous, I have to edit my paper (I was too tired by the time I finished it trust my ability to edit, and too tired while writing it trust that it doesn't desperately need to be editted. ;) )

Edit: My apologies, by the by, if the obsessing is getting annoying. I imagine I'll stop once I get some more sleep...I've gotten 13 hours of sleep since 9 AM Sunday...it's just not enough. :)

Comments

[schenker28.livejournal.com]

Somehow I can't remember... did you ever listen to the musical Civil War, by Frank Wildhorn? You know, Mr. Scarlet Pimpernel & Jekyll&Hyde... In the show there's a rather pretty, sad song, "Sarah", that seems loosely based on that letter.. I'm not sure. Here are the (gratuitous?) lyrics:

Oh, Sarah, my Sarah
I fear I must go
And leave you to move on alone
A hard wind is risin' and fixin' to blow
And scatter the days we have known
But come what may I'll always be with you
Watching from above
Oh Sarah, my Sarah, my love
I see you, my Sarah, when I close my eyes
It's summer and we're at the fair
Your laughter so haunting, so full of surprise
Drifts back like some ghost through the air
So when you feel a cool breeze passing by
Know that I am there
As real as the words of my prayer
If fate is kind I'll soon be by your side
But always know you can find me deep inside
Oh, Sarah, my Sarah, I'll whisper your name
My thoughts all will run home to you
My heart is the candle and your heart the flame
That burns with a fire so true
And know that we will surely meet again
Until then I swear
I love you, my Sarah
Forever and always
And always my heart will be there

[unforth.livejournal.com]

I've seen Civil War, though I've not heard any of the music since the first time I saw it; I wouldn't be surprised if the song is based of this letter, the letter is pretty famous...reading over the lyrics, though, I think Wildhorn missed the spirit of the letter...